pain, emotions, spirituality
I don't know, the idea of knowing that God knows, understands, and FEELS the very pain I'm experiencing because They have created it all is both comforting and not just because I have so much empathy that I wouldn't want my own God to feel this. I don't even know how theologically sound that is, the whole God feels the exact pain you feel.
pain, emotions, spirituality, personal
Every time i think of my story, I think of the time Jesus was dying on the cross and he said to God "forgive them Father, for they know not what they're doing" because that's exactly how I look at how they treated me. And I think they're starting to realize that with my silent departure. I don't know how Jesus felt, but idk it seems like he didn't want condemnation on the people who hurt him and I get it
pain, emotions, spirituality, personal
like I totally get it and like knowing that brings me some sense of like, an ocean of sadness. I didn't get it before but now I do.
Right now, God is all I'm clinging onto for strength. It feels like They are the only thing constant and stable in the most chaotic and unstable of situations and I Get It now. Knowing They love me forever regardless if I leave or stay and that They'll never hurt me like my family did....wow. I Get It.
pain, emotions, spirituality, personal
Sometimes in the midst of this really chaotic time I get this like overwhelming wave of calm for like a solid minute out of nowhere where my emotions just stop and I feel so peaceful and at ease for just one good minute and when I realize its there, it's gone! And I just think that's God placing a hand on me and saying You, you are good, you will be ok, I guarantee it.
Thank you God.